Esther Perel says that couples fight because they’re both trying to be happy and free, even though they're together.
Imagine you have a favorite toy that fits perfectly in your hands, it’s just right. Now imagine your friend also loves this toy, and they want to play with it too. Sometimes, you both want to use the toy at the same time, so you argue about who gets to play with it first. That's kind of like what happens between couples: they love each other, but they also want to be themselves, and that can lead to little fights.
Like a Shared Playground
Think of a relationship like a playground, it’s fun and full of things to do together. But sometimes you want to swing on your own swing, while your friend wants to climb the slide first. You both love the playground, but you also want to enjoy your favorite parts on your own terms.
Esther Perel says these little fights are normal, they help couples understand each other better and keep the relationship interesting, just like how playing with friends makes the day more fun!
Examples
- A couple argues over dinner, but it's not about the food, it's about deeper feelings.
- One person feels ignored, while the other feels overwhelmed.
- They both want love, but they're fighting for different things.
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See also
- What is Emotional Intelligence?
- How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves You | Femi Ogunjinmi | TEDxXavierUniversity?
- What Is Emotional Intelligence? | Business: Explained?
- Why EQ is more important than IQ | Travis Bradberry | WOBI?
- What is self-compassion?